Inconsistently Consistent
Consistently pushing through despite the inconsistencies
Holidays have come and gone. As much as we anticipate them coming around it can more often than not seem like a relief that it's over. For many of us see this period as a time for new beginnings in which, we tackle old habits with new ones or take on new ventures riding the momentum of holiday joy and inspiration. However, for some of us it can knock us off track from what we've been doing. Whether it’s that diet or workout regimen that you were doing so well with before but decided to take a break amidst the holiday chaos. Or maybe it's the habit of writing your weekly newsletter. Guilty. That we can often find it harder to get the train back on track then it was to just stay on track to begin with. That I've spoken on it before but often times the guilt, the shame, the I knew better, and other thoughts of inferiority can flood our minds that only discourage us making it harder to hop back on that horse.
` Consistency. A word we are all too familiar with yet for many, like me, can treat like a mortal enemy battling with more so than it being our companion. As I mentioned before, for myself, I allow inferior meaningless thoughts to beat me up often times till I throw in the towel. Believing that prevalent voice at times that says, “see I told you, you couldn't do it”, “no one reads them anyways”, “you were stupid to think that you could do this to begin with” or my favorite “you don't have time to”. However, these self-defeating imprisoning thoughts are based off an outdated ideology of not only who I am, but who we are as sentient beings. For we are perfect divine beings encapsulated in imperfect physical bodies. That I believe it is from this deep-rooted unconscious recognition of our true divinity that we beat ourselves up for not being perfect. However, perfection has never been a requirement in enjoying peace, love, happiness, or success, though, consistency is.
But as I mentioned we’re blessed with this perfect life in imperfect bodies, in which, unbeknownst to ourselves we tend to correlate consistency with perfection. I’ve come to understand consistency is nothing more than constant effort and not whether you get it right or wrong. I’ve slipped up, so what. I’ve been distracted, who cares. I’m wrong, ok and. That’s not going to persuade me to give up on my dreams and endeavors. Like this newsletter I’m just going to get up and keep moving dispute some inconsistencies I’m going to continue to put forth effort since I'm still breathing today. I’ve personally been home from prison for 8 years now, however, it wasn't because I did everything right while I was incarcerated. In fact, I spent nearly a quarter of that time within solidary confinement (literally 13 months of the 55 months I served) even picked up new charges towards the end and came home from solidary confinement. I say all that to say that that wasn’t an indicator nor an insinuation that I was unfit for society or couldn’t stay out of jail because here I am.
Now, I’m not advocating for being ok with messing up or being inconsistent, however, that we shouldn’t allow ourselves to give up or feel overly guilt about it that it interferes with what we’re trying to do. That as we move forward into 2023 the new year chasing our dreams, goals, and visions don’t become discouraged because of rough spots where you may be inconsistent. One of the craziest things that I find motivating is to hear about millionaires or highly successful people going bankrupt or losing it all then turning it back around. I find it inspiring solely for the fact that despite a person’s economic status or social stature within society that they are not perfect nor are they immune from messing up and that it can be turned around. For I’m not a millionaire, yet, however, I’ve been in situations where I’ve lost thousands of dollars whether it was immaturity or poor decisions that I felt terrible about myself. But imagine losing millions or hundreds of thousands of dollars and what that might feel like. In that, inconsistency doesn’t have to be defining as much as it can just be a momentary lapse if we don’t beat ourselves up over it.
It’s funny, you hear a lot of things before being a parent about what it’s like, however, until you are one you never truly grasp what you were being told. One, for instance, is how at times you learn more from you kids then they learn from you. Now, isn’t that the truth. Because my daughter is as inconsistent as they come when she’s learning or discovering something like how to walk, reciting her numbers, or picking up her toys, yet I’ve never once seen her get mad at herself nor give up on trying to get it right. She just constantly puts forth effort despite the mess ups and inconsistencies. Now, it’s easy to dismiss this and say well of course she’s just a toddler, however, I can say the same thing to myself with all my screw ups and inconsistencies, in that, of course, I am only human. In which, like my daughter I am going to continue to try till I get it right. For freedom, success, happiness, love and peace aren’t things that are just simply achieved they are things that we must continually give effort in maintaining. For the outcome to how our 2023 turns out isn’t going to be predicated on whether we are perfectly consistent in what we’re doing but in consistently trying even after we’ve been inconsistent.
